Remembering Columbine

Wow, such strong memories come up in such strange places.

Today before lunch I heard about the tragedy at Virginia Tech. I couldn't help, as much as I tried, but be pulled to the place both emotionally and physically, where I was in 1998 when the Columbine shootings happened. In 1998, I was trapped in a terrible marriage to a man "in the minstry" at a "Christian" church just south of Atlanta, GA. We had been working with a youth group there, about 30 miles south of Atlanta, when the shootings at Columbine High School in Littleton, Co occurred.

I remember realizing around that time that my marriage was falling apart, and seeing that double image of me being 1000 miles from home and watching that haunting image of a dad so far away reaching out and meeting his eighhteen year old daughter in his open arms. I was slowly realizing that things would never be the same, noticing at the same time that the man whom I had chosen to share my life with was this incredible fraud.

The day I was sitting at home watching the Columbine details on CNN, I was also realizing how much my husband at the time was using me. I had just answered a phone call from one of the sweetest of our church members, who was also the mother of one of our Youth Group members. She aparently was inquiring as to why my current husband would have missed out on some recent activities, and was also double checking his excuse on missing out on some events because I had had a recent breast exam which had resulted in further investigation in the form of a biopsy then a surgical procedure. I concurred that recently I had an annual exam in which a tumor had been found. The OB/GYN, whom I am sure, had prescribed to the Cover Your Ass Annual Magazine, had felt that a biopsy was in order. I was 20 years old and 10000 miles away from home. The church member had fallen for a manipulative scheme by the pastor of our church and had resulted, along with a slew of other good reasons, in my then husband being fired. I had really wanted to stay in the area, because I knew that moving back would be the fall of him as I knew him, but I resigned and moved back home. I proceded to enroll back in school, then subsequently work two jobs as he slowly submitted to a downhill spiral.

Last year, one of the students in the youth group, where I spent a year, tried to contact me. He lived a thousand miles away and he and his now wife were traveling through and he took the time to stop and put a note under the door of my parents' small business (he knew this only because he came home with us one holiday.
I was so embarrased or whatever that I didn't even respond back. I felt like such a horrible person but that was such a terrible time in my life and I know one day I may reach out to him and he will probably understand.

After my marriage was over, I was at a crossroads and not at all sure which way to go. I had moved to a town about an hour away to finish my education. I have since met a man whom I love and respect, whom I have chosen to live my current life with. I have finished my degree program and graduated from college.
I, even this year, was offered the choice of running a very successful non-profit agency for which I work. My current boss's husband called me to inform me that last night she had a heart attack. She had been treated and would soon be realeased.

Although I have moved on and now live life in which I know I make a difference, I can't help but feel the similarities of these situations. Today I was easily, eight years later, automatially drawn to that dramatic day in 1998 where my heart will always be.

My heart and thoughts are with all the victims and survivors and their families in Blacksburg.
If you're interested, Mosaic Yarn Shop in Blacksburg has started collecting 8" knitted and crocheted squares to make comfortghans for those affected by the tragedy.
Find out more info at the Mosaic Yarn Shop Blog.

The Name Game

Saw this on Sue's blog.
Here's how to play: everything must start with the first letter of your name.

Your Name: Tandi
Famous Artist/Musician/Band: Tesla
3 letter word: Try
Street name: Teakwood
Color: Turquoise
Vehicle: Toyota Tacoma
TV Show: The Sopranos
State/City: Tulsa/Tennessee
Boy Name: Thomas
Girl Name: Tara
Alcoholic Drink: Tom Collins
Occupation: Therapist
Flower: Tulip
Celebrity: Topher Grayson
Famous Leader: Theodore Roosevelt
Toy: Top
Animal: Turtle
Food: Tetrazini
Something found in a kitchen: Toaster
Reason for Being Late: Tire flat
Something You Throw Away: Trash?
Cartoon Character: Thomas the Tank Engine
Type of desert: Tiramisu (MY Favorite)

Finally, Something Worth Blogging About...

Okay, it's nothing great but I have finally finished a little something fiber-y. I had to rush out the door Friday morning and get it in the mail, with just enough time to grab a crappy pic with bad lighting. My aunt just had a little girl three weeks ago and I found a cute layette at Target to go with the bolero.

It's the Baby Bolero pattern from One Skein made with Blue Sky Cotton (love this stuff!) in Shell.

We had a great Easter. We went to my husband's home town about 3 hours away and stayed with his family. Our neice and nephew were there and Kev's Grandma who lives in Kansas and we rarely ever see. We had a good time and some great food. I swear I gain one pound for every day we spend there.

And in home-y news, I finally got the back junk room, AKA Yarntopia, conquered and somewhat organized. My husband and family now affectionately call it the Little Yarn Store. I wanted to post before/after photos but I just couldn't bear to photograph that giant mound of crap on the bed. Here is a flash of my stash from last November. It mostly stayed in those bins. And piled on the bed. And under the bed. And in the closet.

Here is the new and improved craft room:

The second pic is a closer shot of the craft table. It's better if you picture it without all the crap around it, still have some work to do. I also got 2 gigantic bookshelves moved out of our bedroom. I wasn't a huge fan of my massive mess of books in the bedroom.

In this compilation of all the mini-stashes, I realized I have more acrylic than one girl should ever have accumulated...



Which I have slowly been turning into these...



6 inch and 12 inch squares to send to Heartmade Blessings. Man, it's a slow process.

And how on earth does someone come to obtain this much Lion Brand Homespun?
Eleven whole skeins of random colors and many random scraps. Gorgeous colors. I have to come up with something for them. I know it's cheap and it's acrylic but I really like it.

I feel so much better now that it's all organized. And my sis and brother in law and my parents came up the weekend before last and they could all sleep in beds! Woo!
Much more destashing to do, I hope to get rid of some of the yarn that I don't think I'll use and make room for more! And I also have some books to offer.